my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
