"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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