found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
nutella sex= disaster
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
