dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
