Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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