During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
