You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
