wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
