we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
