I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude. I can hear the air.
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