is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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