Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
