he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
