Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I smell stomach acid.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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