If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
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we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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