you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
