yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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