Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
