there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
