jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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