So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
