i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
