i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry about my life...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
