Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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