She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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