Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
