Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
