Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize