How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
