I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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