made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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