okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
