just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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