Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
