You can't motorboat a personality
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
