Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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