hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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