Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
