Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
