I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
