we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
