so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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