Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
