I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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