I hate all girls vehemently.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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