So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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