Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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