Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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