Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
