weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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