i think i have herpe
just one?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
