Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let's get the cat blown out
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
