why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Boobs speak an international language.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
