I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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