i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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