The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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