so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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