also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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