I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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