He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize