Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
