Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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